'Tis that season to be merry once again, and 'tis time for Psychic Jim to present his second set of Festive Forecasts. What will happen for you-ooo-ooooou this Christmas? How will you end 2000 and begin 2001? Only Psychic Jim knows...

As they say, Christmas comes but once a year. And that time of year is now. However, after having looked forward to Christmas 2000 with an unbelievable amount of anticipation, you will have got yourself so excited that, when Santa comes down your chimney this year, you will collapse into a quivering heap and become a nervous wreck. Despite the Festive One's attempts to calm you down, you will be beyond comforting. For fear of leaving you sitting in front of your fireplace in this state, Mr. Claus will pick you up, put you into his sack and take you back to Lapland, putting you in the faulty toy section to be repared. Come Christmas 2001, you will be as fit as a fiddle. In fact, you will have been enhanced by Santa's fixer elves, forever intent on improving on faulty goods. You will now come with flashing ears and musical feet.

Destiny gives her turkey a right good stuffing every year.

This Christmas, you will feel like getting away from all the festivities and jollilities that go together to form the seasonal celebration. Yep, you'll book a return ticket to the moon, all set to return on 5th January when the Christmas celebrations will be over. However, even by flying to the moon, there is no escape from Christmas. Something that nobody knows (apart from me) is that Christmas even happens on the moon. The moon has its very own version of Father Christmas, known by the inhabitants of the moon as Lunar Tick. Lunar Tick is a parasitic arachnid (coo, biological words ahoy!!!) that visits each of the satellite's inhabitants and feeds off his/her skin during the morning of 25th December. Of course, with nobody usually living on the moon, Mr. Tick has an easy night's work every Christmas. However, this year, he has you to feed off. So, you'd better watch out, you'd better beware, because Lunar Tick's going to eat your underwear!

Destiny managed to wrap herself in tinsel by accident last year.

Having lost your Santa hat while leaning your head out of a train window whilst wearing it during Christmas 1999, you will take to wearing a Christmas stocking on your head over the festive period this year. This, of course, will result in people everywhere looking at you as if you're missing something in the intelligence department. But this won't bother you in the slightest. In fact, you are so used to people staring at you in a strange way that you won't even notice. You will continue to wear your stocking on your head until you forget that it's even there (your stocking, not your head). It won't be until next summer, during a particularly hot day in July, that you come to wipe the sweat off your forehead, touch something furry and remember the stocking. "Oh my gosh!!!" you shout out in shock and surprise. "I've still got my Christmas stocking on my head. I must look such a fool. After all, it is July!" You remove it, only to find that, because your stocking had a apple and an orange left in it from Christmas the previous year, mould has grown everywhere inside it and onto your head. From that day on, you will be known by everybody as Mushroom Man (or Woman), Fungus Face and Mr./Mrs./Miss Mould. You won't smell too good either.

Destiny believes she can drink anybody under the table. The truth is, she only needs half a glass of wine and she's anybody's. Then again, she is a bit of a slapper...

LEO (24th July - 23rd August)
In your letter to Santa this year, you will ask him for a new brain cell. The one you have is proving to be unreliable. It really needs another one to accompany it. However, with Santa not being able to read your handwriting, he will believe you to have asked for a train set. You'll be there on Christmas morn, and unwrap a present. "Hey! This must be my brain cell!!!" you will shout looking at the box in delight. "Hmmm... but how do I get all of this into my brain?" You will begin by inserting the train's buffet carriage into your ear. After much pushing and pain, you will have it in there. Next will be the railway tracks. Eventually, you'll have the entire set in your head. However, instead of making you more intelligent, your new 'brain cell' will have the reverse effect. Upon visiting the doctor, he will open up your head. "Ah! I see the problem!" he will say. "You appear to have a train set in your head." The doctor will remove the train set from your head and send you home. This will leave you with just the one brain cell. That is something fortunate. After all, if you had more than the one, you could probably be able to question the accuracy of this prediction..

Destiny was quite amused when she found out that her name is an anagram of Density.

- December 2000 - October 2000 - July 2000 -

- November 1999 - July 1999 - February 1999 - January 1999 -

- December 1998 - November 1998 - October 1998 - June 1998 - May 1998 -

- Year 2001 Predictions -

- Psychic Jim's Dreams Analysis - Psychic Jim's Prediction Generator -

- Psychic Jim's Medium Wave - Biography of Psychic Jim -